Breastfeeding and Such

Do you all remember me talking about J, the kid I babysit? If not, you can read about it here.

So last night I am sitting with him eating dinner. Annnd, as most of our conversations go, they are normally random and filled with funny times.

Here is a great example:

J: “Man! My teeth are like knives! Look at them cut through this noodle! Watch! BAM! Did you see me cut through that? Just like a knife.”

Yes, J. That is so true.

“Ok, well are your teeth like knives?”

Yes, they are.

“Well are all people’s teeth like knives?”

Well, our teeth were made to be able to chew things so that food is more easily digested, so yes, all people’s teeth are like knives.

“Oh.” (Thinking.) “Well, babies don’t have teeth.”

Yes, that’s because they don’t need them. They just need to be able to drink milk from their moms.

“What do you mean?”

I mean they don’t have to chew because they just have to be able to drink milk from their moms.

“Like, the baby drinks milk from the mom’s tummy?”

(Me thinking: oh, Lord. He doesn’t know about breastfeeding. How am I going to
explain this to a 9 year old who is not my own???)

Umm…Not exactly. The baby drinks from the mom’s chest.

“Like up here?” (Pointing to his neck.)

No…a little lower.

“Oh, so right here?” (Pointing to the correct region)

Yes.

“So, does the mom have tons of holes all over her so that the baby can just lay there and drink while it pours out?”

(Me: Cracking UP!...Meanwhile thinking: “I do NOT want to talk to him about women's nipples. Are his parents comfortable with this conversation? Oh crap, I’m stuck…”

No….Just two holes, really.

“Oh.”

He finally drops the conversation after I explain that when a baby eats from his mom, it is called breastfeeding.

However, then the next conversation starts. Here we go again.

“So, Miss Elizabeth, are you having a baby?” (I have no idea why this kid is obsessed with me having a baby?!)

Not right now, J.

“Well how many kids are you going to have?”

I’m not sure. But I do know that when Brandon and I have kids, we want to at least adopt one too.

“Really? Like, from Haiti?”

Maybe from Haiti. Maybe from the United States. Maybe from anywhere in the world. Brandon and I haven’t really thought much about where we will adopt from.

“Well, when you adopt, I think you should adopt me.”

(I am thinking: “ok what??? This kid has a great life with parents he loves deeply. What is going on? I soon get my answer….”)

J, you don’t really want to be adopted by me, do you?

“Well, let’s discuss about the pros and cons.”

(I am thinking: What the heck, kid? Who, at 9 years of age, discusses pros and cons of something???)

(Laughing) Ok, J. Let’s talk about the pros and cons.

“Ok, Pro: I would get to hang out with your dogs all the time.

Ok. Good…What else?

Con: I would have to move away from all my friends.

Another Con: I would have to change schools.

Pro: ummm….Pro:…. Ok, another Con: I would have to move away from my parents

Con: I would be sad.

So basically what you’re saying is, you don’t really want to be adopted by me at all, you just want to hang out with my dogs.

Yep. I think that’s it.

Haha, Ok J, whatever you say kid.

And this is the greatness called: Babysitting a curious 9 year old little boy.

A Little Healthy Competition

Ok, so I just started this blog yesterday, right?

So I’m all giddy and happy and bragging to Brandon about how funny I am and how excited I am about my blog.

And he says?

“I could soooo write a better blog than you.”

EXCUSE ME? Did he just say what I think he said?

I am completely rational (read: extremely competitive) and therefore calmly explained that although I was sure he had wonderful thoughts, mine were a bit more superb (read: I yelled: “Oh it’s ON baby. You are SOOO going to lose this competition.”)

Therefore, even as I write this entry, my husband is sitting across the room.

Starting his own blog.

What the c.r.a.p.??

He is so going down.

So let me explain the competition:

A month from today, August 16th, 2010, we will compare. What will we compare? FOLLOWERS!

Therefore, if you are reading this right now, you need to follow me!

(Especially because he is currently making fun of the fact that I only have three followers.)

PLEASE help me prove to my husband that I am the best blogger ever!

Because if not? I might not be friends with you anymore (read: I will hunt you down.)

Your angry, loser, didn’t-win-a-competition-with-my-husband, friend.

The FUUUUNNNN Has Arrrriiivveeddd!!!!

Hellooooo blogging community! For a few months now, I have been reading blogs and thinking about how much I really wanted to start one myself.

When I proposed this idea to my husband, his reply? "Well what would you blog about?"

My reply? "Hello, I have funny thoughts, man. I would write about my funny thoughts."

He blew me off. I cannot possibly imagine why.

So, hello. Welcome to my random thoughts about life in general.

Let's hope this is a good ride...

Because let's face it folks: The fun has officially arrived in the blogging community.

I=fun.

Just don't run this idea by my husband.

He might blow you off.