Does It Really Matter?

I am selfish.

I know, I know. I am a CHRISTIAN. How can I be saying I’m selfish? I thought Christians were supposed to be perfect, right?

Wrong.

We are not perfect. Although our goal is to act like Christ did, we are still human, we are flawed and imperfect. The only difference between Christians and non-believers? We have chosen to put our trust and hope in Christ and believe in Him for salvation.

That is it.

Therefore, like I said: I. Am. Selfish.

Terribly so, in fact.

I really feel like I have been made so acutely aware of this lately, especially since my brother-in-law moved in. (Missed the post about that event? Click here. )

So often, I make declarations in my mind about my own rights and my stuff.

I think that my house is mine.

It is not.

I think my money is mine.

It is not.

I think that my time is mine.

It is not.

You see, because I have chosen to live my life for Christ, I recognize that all of my blessings, gifts, talents, and breaths here on this earth all belong to Him.

In fact, if the plan for my life was supposed to end right now, he could take the breath out of my body this very instant. He could make my heart stop beating. And my short life here on earth would end.

And all that time spent thinking about all MY ‘stuff’, MY ‘precious time’, and MY ‘precious belongings’ would fade in a moment of time.

Which really makes me wonder…why in the world am I so concerned with all of it anyway?

Will it really matter in the long run if someone disrespected my time and space? I mean, who really cares. If I am truly to love as Christ loves, then shouldn’t I be willing to give up my rights as he did? After all, he was treated terribly---mocked, scorned, and beaten, yet he gave up his life freely for every single one of us without complaint.

And I look at my own life. I can’t even stand it if someone oversteps their bounds or takes advantage of me.

I know what my purpose here on earth is. I discovered that at a young age. I remember thinking to myself: “I really want to help people who are hurting.” (Thus why I am a social worker!)

However, how much of my life is spent NOT working toward my purpose? How much energy and time is wasted wondering about stupid things like “I wish I could afford designer clothes like _____ over there” or “I wish I could change x, y, and z about my body” or even “I cannot believe ______ did that to me! Clearly they need to know about how they stomped on my toes.”

Which leads me back to my original point. I am selfish.

I spend so much time wondering about meaningless things because they benefit me.

How would my life be different if the majority of my thoughts were focused outward and how I could minister to others?

How much more Christ-like would I be?

Maybe then I could wear the name of Christ proudly instead of so often bringing shame to His name.

But thank God for grace.

Thank God He forgives us when we are wrong.

Thank God that He loves us so much that even when we are selfish and not resembling Jesus, He still loves us.

And thank God that He loves us enough not to let us stay the way we are.

Thank God.

The Segregated Church

So, for all of you who are a bit ‘slow’ (It’s alright, I don’t discriminate…) and haven’t gathered yet that my husband and I are a mixed couple based upon my profile picture, I will now spell it out for you: I am White. My husband is Black.

“SO??” You might be thinking…

Or, “UGH” some others might be thinking…

Or possibly you had no reaction.

But I will tell you, being a mixed couple comes with its own set of challenges.

I think there are some individuals with the belief that being mixed in America today isn’t very difficult. After all, aren’t we a ‘progressive’ nation? There are SO many people preaching tolerance, acceptance, etc.

However, although I will agree that being a mixed couple in America today is much easier than say, in the early to mid 90’s, It. Is. Still. Difficult.

And what is frustrating is that many people don’t seem to be aware of that fact.

Do I expect that everyone walk around on their tip-toes around me? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I CHOSE to marry interracially, I get that. And LOVE it. And I don’t expect people to feel bad for me about it. In fact, that would simply irritate me more if they did because I find it to be a blessing!

However, marrying interracially carries some unique hardships. And sadly, one of the most prominent places that it is a problem for us is in the Church.

The issue? Often, we will find a church that is solid in teaching of the Word, however, it is homogeneous in its racial composition. AND, since there is a lot of sin and racism in the church (Why? Because we are sinful and fallen people!) it’s not all roses and butterflies.

Too often, even if it is a place where the Word is being taught, it is difficult to concentrate on that, when your spouse (a.k.a. the other half of your ‘two-become-one’, a.k.a. your best friend, a.k.a. the person you love so much you would give your life for them) is being A. Stared at constantly as if they were some type of disease, B. Treated like crap, or C. Not spoken to. At all.

OR, we might find a church that is racially mixed where we both feel comfortable enough to relax, but then we don’t feel like the messages are very deep and we aren’t spiritually fed.

Therefore, even though we’ve lived in this city for 3 years now, we have not settled down for long periods of time in a church.

Although we both desire deeply to find a church to get plugged in to, it is difficult when it takes So. Much. Work.

Making relationships is hard. Making relationships is harder with people who are not friendly, afraid of your spouse, or outright racist.

When I look at Brandon, I don’t think to myself: “Oh, there goes my Black husband.” The only thing I see when I look at him? An AMAZING man who follows after Christ with his whole heart.

When he looks at me, it is the same. He doesn’t focus on my race, but the person I am.

When we discuss race? It is to appreciate our uniqueness. Not to criticize.

Therefore, here is my charge to you:

If you belong to a church that is predominately one ethnicity, ask yourself: “Why is that? Do others not feel comfortable here?” And then? See what you can do to make people who come in who don’t look like you feel more comfortable so that others will come.

If the Church is to look like Christ and be the example of PURE love, then I think we still have some work to do.

I think the Church as a whole would be a much more beautiful place if it looked more like Heaven: Every tribe, tongue, and nation coming together to worship the Lord.

All as one.

Seeing one another as uniquely created and bearing special talents and gifts.

Regardless of their skin color.