Insanity.

My mom and sister came into town to visit us this past weekend.

As you know, I own two dogs. The yellow one and the black one. My black dog is extremely energetic, while the yellow one mostly lays around in a lazy haze all the time.

My sister also owns two dogs. Her dogs are pretty similar to mine. The first is a golden retriever. Which, it were even possible, is even lazier than my yellow dog.

But also? She owns a golden doodle. I think it would be calmly understated to say that the dog acts like it is jacked up on methamphetamines all the time.

Let me give you an example of how our weekends go when the dog is around.
(P.S. Her dog’s name is Dolce. And my yellow, calm dog’s name is Nala. Keep that in mind.
P.S.S. Dolce is a large male who is the most un-masculine dog ever. His bark and cry is about 30 decibels higher than the sound of nails on a chalkboard)

Me: Hey Sarah! I’m so glad you’re here! Welcome to our… DOLCE! No! Down! Get Down!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry .

Me: How was your trip?

Sarah: Oh, it was good. DOLCE! Stop! Come here!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry.

Me: How long did it take you? DOLCE! Stop licking Nala’s butthole!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry. (Licks Nala’s butthole some more.)

Sarah: It took about 3 hours.

Me: Oh, good. Are you hungry? DOLCE! Stop licking Nala’s hoojoo (aka my word for her private area)

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry. (Comes over and jumps up on me because I told him “no”)

Sarah: Yes, I could eat. DOLCE. Seriously, dog. Stop.

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry. (Jump on Sarah because she told him ‘no’.)

Meanwhile, the other dogs lay around calmly, acting like nothing is going on. We all settle into catching up. However, while my sister, mom, and husband can all ignore Dolce’s crazy actions, somehow I am unable to block him out.

So here is the rest of the evening:

Sarah: How is your job?

Me: Oh it’s good. DOLCE! If you don’t stop licking my dog’s butt I am going to kill you!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry.

Sarah: Here, I’ll hold him over here so he will stop crying.

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry (His thoughts: if only I could get back over to Nala to lick her butt, life would be grand)

Me: How’s your job? DOLCE! Stop crying!

Sarah: Good.

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry.

Me: Why don’t you get this dumb dog neutered? Maybe then he would stop being so obsessed with Nala!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry

Sarah: Because I think he acts like that because he has some dog form of obsessive compulsive disorder or possibly ADHD.

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry

Me: Well, you need to get him some Ritalin!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry cry (Yes! I escaped! First item of business? Licking Nala’s butthole! Oh no, she raised her teeth at me! What does this mean? It must means she likes it! I am going to lick her butt again! Oh no! She attacked me? What does this mean? It must mean she loves me! I love you too Nala! Let me lick your ear!)

Me: DOLCE! STOP LICKING NALA!

Dolce: Cry cry cry cry cry

You might be thinking to yourself: Why do they continue to keep such an insane dog?

Well, he is adorable. And sweet. And I guess that trumps that fact that he is a total moron.




See? All four dogs. Dolce is the one in the sweatshirt. It supposedly helps calm him down. I am convinced that nothing short of a brain transplant will do such a thing.

I'm Still Here

People!

I promise, I'm not dead.

I know I missed Manna Monday, but next week I should be back on track.

But....This last week has been a transition period for me.

These next 9 months are my last before I am completely done with my masters. However, this is the beginning of this particular semester. And as all of you know, the start of a new semester is always hectic and annoying.

SO....if you promise to stick it out with me, I know that soon I will have amazing stories for you again!

In the mean time?

I figured I would just leave you with some pics of my dogs because they are cute and in the midst of the stress? They make me happy with their stress-free lives.

Just all wags and kisses and playing.

They definitely remind me to not take life too seriously!

So here they are in all of their glory:



Nala (our puppy) acting like she is a big baby.

Nala also thinks she is a human and therefore sits on the couch like a child.

Nala's favorite past time is sleeping. On her pillow. All. Day. Long. She is extremely lazy.

Nala's other favorite pasttime is eating. Eating what? Anything. She's not picky. It could be dirt, food, hair, garbage, it is all great. Apparently? I am missing out on the greatness of these fine delicacies.

Here is Nariz as a puppy. Even then, we could tell she would be extremely ornery.

Here she is all grown up. That stuff on the floor? Yea. Her doing. Also? Those teeth you see are permanently sticking out because she has the worst underbite ever. Therefore, she always looks like she is snarling at you.

Although this pic is blurry, it accurately depicts her attitude: Lounging because she thinks she is queen. Of the world.

Nariz's favorite thing in the world is a tennis ball. She will play until she drops dead. Here she is looking like she's on drugs holding her tennis ball. Oh the entertainment she brings to us.


Well, those are the dogs. I promise I will write again soon!!