The Wrath of My Armpit

So you all remember my husband's post about me, right? If not, you can read it here.

People?

I need your help.

That right armpit that is smelly is really taking over my life!

Why am I so suddenly obsessed with my armpits? I will tell you.

Recently, I switched to a natural deodorant aka a deodorant without aluminum in it. My mom has been telling me for years about the dangers of antiperspirants, but I have been ignoring her.

Well, since I recently switched, things have been mostly good.

The deodorant lasts for a few good hours.

But then, the smell starts to creep.

Of course, only from my right armpit, because apparently my left armpit has no scent while my left smells like peaches and sweat. I know, I know a delicious combination.

So what should I do, people?

Apply aluminum armpit-clogging deodorant to the right armpit, and let my left one be free?

See, I have a problem with that because my aunt had to get surgery because of the crazy backed-up state of her armpit after she used aluminum deodorant.

So clearly I don't want to go back to the un-natural deodorant. But am I supposed to walk around with one smelly armpit the rest of my life, while the other is free and breezy?

I need your advice, people!

I don't want to smell like peaches and sweat the rest of my life on my right side.

I guess until I find a solution, I will just hug people on the left side of my body and plaster my right armpit to my side.

So if you see me on the street and my arm looks like it has gone lame? Don't worry! It hasn't! I'm just attempting to hide my creepy smelly armpit from you.