Flair for the Dramatic

I don’t know if you’ve gathered this or not yet, but I can have a bit of a flair for the dramatic.

Sometimes, when things change, I can be all ZOMGoodness!, I’M DYING!

Right.

Anyhoo.

This pretty much carries over into every aspect of my life. I can’t figure out if I am dramatic because it adds a certain degree of spiciness to life, or if I am somehow hardwired to catastrophize every situation.

I will let you know once I figure this trash out.

Back to the subject at hand.

I shared the other day that we are adopting (Or rather, opening ourselves up to adoption, and the timing will be left up to the Lord).

Anyway.

As time creeps onward, my dramatic self rears its head.

My mind starts to go crazy:

“What if I never get another moment alone to myself?”

“What if I can’t ever go out to eat again?”

“What if I can’t ever buy myself something again?”

So…I have been justifying doing crazy actions (Does this surprise you? It should not.)

For example:

I bought an entire bag of Cadbury mini easter eggs and ate them by myself over the course of two days. Why? I figured I would never be able to eat something alone ever again. So, classically, I went overboard and ate them all. This makes sense to a rational person, I am sure.

I bought myself two new pairs of pants. Why? I just knew I could never buy myself clothes again because I would buy all the clothes for the kids (This also is rational. Clearly.)

I stayed up until 2:00am. Why? I knew I would have to go to bed early with the kids, so my rebellious self rose up inside me and told me stay up. Did I regret this decision? Yes. I was a zombie the next day at work. And a grouch, too.

Now, while I recognize that I will have to do some cut-backs on my spending, it is not as melodramatic as my crazy brain convinces me it will be.

However, apparently, my husband has caught the same “Oh-my-gosh-we’re-going-to-be-parents-soon” bug too, because he just came home with matching iPhones for us. He said it was necessary as we wouldn’t be able to make any more big purchases after this time.

So somehow I am going to have to reign both of us in. But until I figure out how to do that, I will be here. With my Cadbury eggs. Hoarding them to myself. While calling someone on my new iPhone.

I'm Finally Back!

Annndddd….rigghhhhhttt. So, HEY! How are you? I’m just grand. I am going to pretend like I haven’t just disappeared off the map for OVER A YEAR.

Wow. I didn’t realize I was that bad.

OOPS.

Anyhoo!

You are probably wondering if I died.

I did not.

You might’ve wondered if I contracted a creepy disease.

I did not.

Or…you might’ve wondered if graduate school finally killed me.

It did. But eventually, I guess I came back to life at some point.

So…where do I start?

I can’t believe I have neglected my poor little blog for so long.

On the upside? I logged into my account today and realized I had written 70 posts before I disappeared. That impressed me a little bit.

Also? I started to read some of my old posts. And cracked myself up. So that’s always positive. At least I make myself laugh, even if no one else laughs along with me. :)

So, what have I been up to you might ask?

Well, here’s a quick rundown of my past year:

1. I finished graduate school! WAHOOOO!! That was probably the most difficult time of my whole entire life, and we will just leave it at that because, hello, this is not a depressing blog.

2. I developed an unhealthy obsession with drinking lattes after my husband bought me an espresso machine for Christmas.

3. I noticed weird spots on my teeth from drinking so many lattes. So, I whitened my teeth back to their normal state with those handy dandy Crest Whitestrips. And…then had to stop drinking my lattes. My vanity won out over my desire to drink lattes. BOO.

4. I got a new job with my new education! Now I work in a low income, high needs school with kindergarten through 8th grade kids. And I love them.

5. Brandon and I are working on writing a book together! “WHAT?”, you might say. I know, it’s crazy. We’ll just pretend that that is the reason I took such a freakishly long haitus from this blog.

6. Brandon and I are in the process of adopting. Another: “WAHOO!”

7. I had to buy “old people shoes” because my back started to hurt from standing up all day. Who am I these days? I have chosen hideous style so I could have comfortability. I have officially crossed over into Lameville.

So see…not everything was doom and gloom around here. Despite my intense burn-out phase after grad school and resulting “I hate school and work” phase, everything else has been good.

My husband is still outrageously handsome and awesome.

I still think I am hilarious and crack myself up.

I continue to believe my two dogs are my children.

And…despite my long break, I still do want to blog.

So people! Welcome me back! Because the FUNNNNN has ARRRRIVVVVEDDDDD . Again. (*clears throat*)

My Erratic Brain

Thank you all for putting up with my ranting yesterday. I really needed to get that out!

And in an update? When our faux child got home last night? We had a GREAT conversation. He agreed to the consequences that we were going to give him, and today when he left? He left a note where he was going.

Praise the Lord!

Anyway. Because I was busy being angry yesterday, I totally missed the fact that yesterday? Was the end of my competition with my husband. (Want to read about the competition? Click here )

Technically, my husband conceded before the competition was even over, but here he is to officially concede. And for your reading pleasure, he felt the need to share with all of my readers how erratic my brain really is if you were going to follow me instead of him!:)

Enjoy!



I've come to grips with my 8 followers compared to my wife's 23. So I figure if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
But before you start reading her blog, maybe you should know how erratic she really is. Here are a few random quotes and scenarios that I've captured in the past week. Enjoy.

"Do you think it's possible to have one armpit smell worse than the other? Because I'm pretty sure my right armpit smells worse than my left."

"The little 12 year old girls watching America’s Got Talent will vote for the little 12 year old singer because I? Was 12 once."

"This one time at camp I had this crush on a camp counselor. I was 13 and he was 21. I thought he was going to wait for me."

"Eric, from CSI is hot. Don't you think so, honey?"

"This dog is so fat I can barely pick her up. Do you think she looks anorexic?"

"I'm probably going to have to wear a diaper when I'm pregnant. Because I have a really small bladder. And sometimes I pee a little bit already. Just imagine when I'm pregnant."

"Will you smell my armpit? I'm pretty sure it stinks"

"That dog farted and again and it smells like fish. Will you wash that dog's butt?"
**************************
Sometimes she talks in her sleep.. and this is what I wake up to.

"SCARED, SCARED, SCARED, SCARED"

"OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOODNESS! I THINK I JUST SCARED MYSELF AWAKE!"

"OOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH MY EYE!!" (that was me screaming when she punched me in the eye while she was asleep. Funny thing is... she didn't even wake up)


And this one is my all time favorite.

Elizabeth: Will you still love me even if I get to be 300 pounds?
Me: Yes
Elizabeth: What if I only had one arm and one leg?
Me: Yes
Elizabeth: Ooh I have a better idea. What if there was only half of me. So I only had one arm, one leg, half of a face,half of a body, AND I weighed 300 pounds. Then what?
Me: (no comment)

So now that you know a lot more about the true Elizabeth do you want to read her blog? ....

Probably ... this game sucks.

-Dirty Lenses

Don't believe anything he says! None of this is true! (Read: all of this is true, but I dont want to admit it...)