Monday, December 13, 2010

The SARS Lady

So we are traveling to Florida for Christmas this year.

My sister lives in Florida with her husband and has lived there for 5 years.

However, for the past 5 years, she has traveled to Ohio (and us as well) to visit my mom.

Well this year she proclaimed that we needed to come to her home, instead.

We agreed that possibly it has been unfair up until this point.

So what is the point of this story (besides just to ramble), you ask?

Well, we are flying.

Now generally, I am not afraid of flights.

Despite the crashes you hear in the news, I am not terrified that my plane is going to get highjacked.

Nor do I think it is going to explode in the air and crash to the earth.

I also don’t think it is going to have a failed engine and again crash to the earth.

Do you know what my fear is?

Getting sick.

I have mentioned my germaphobia before.

If you are an avid reader, you know this.

If you are not? You suck. And also? You are way behind on my germaphobic ways.


Planes severely gross me out.

I mean severely.

You have to sit in these nasty fabric seats where thousands have gone before.

Don’t tell me someone hasn’t splashed their vomit onto the seat before as they puked from being motion sick.

And I guarantee someone has sneezed lots of boogers and disgusting germs all over them too.

I can also guarantee that the people who clean the planes are not steam cleaning the seats.

So where does that leave us?

In germ heaven.

Not only that, but you are stuck in a plane with nasty sick people.

They are all coughy and sneezy, and you are breathing in all their recycled air.


Make me barf.

The worst part?

My theory of the plane being a septic system of germs is totally confirmed every time I travel.


Because every. single. time., I get sick.

Every time, people.

So I casually mention this fact to Brandon.

This is then followed by my solution: I will simply wear a germ mask on the plane!

Genius, people! Genius!

Brandon’s response?

“You CANNOT do that, Elizabeth! People are going to think you have SARS!”

He goes on to explain that there is no way on earth he is going to be seen with the SARS lady and that if I choose to wear this mask, he is going to change his seat.

I wish he were kidding…


What am I supposed to do people??

I have no other choice!

I can either wear mask and have people running, screaming, and crying from the plane because they think I have SARS…

Or, I can spend Christmas sick.

I guess you might hear some running, screaming, and crying because I am SOOO wearing that mask.

I so am, people.

I am NOT going to spend Christmas sick.