Sunday, August 15, 2010

No Need To Lie To Me

I’m just going to say it.

Newborns? They look like straight-up aliens.

Everyone and their mom (no pun originally intended, but then I thought it was funny, so I kept it. So, yep—pun intended) pretends like they’re cute, but everyone knows they are not.

Sure, the fact that they are teeny-tiny is cute.

Sure, the fact that they are so dependent on you to take care of them is cute.

And sure, the fact that they make baby sounds is cute.

But people? Newborns seriously look like some jacked aliens. Squinty eyes, wrinkly skin, wobbly necks, and bald heads does not equal a cute kid. It just doesn’t.

And you know it.

But can you tell the mom?

Nope. You have to pretend like : “Oh my goodnessss!!!! Look how cute your baby is!!! Wowwwwww!!!! AMAAZZZINGGGG! Awwww….”

Here’s the good news.

When I have kids?

There is no need to lie.

I am sure that I, like every other mom, will think that my kid is the cutest on earth. I will swoon, and be instantly in love.

But in the back of my mind? I will know that the world-at-large will think my kid looks like every other newborn-alien hybrid that has ever existed.

So instead?

Just tell me ‘congrats’ and ‘I bet you must be so happy.’

And I will be content with that. Because I realize that anything else would just be a lie.


  1. Too funny! And so true. Though, I do think my third was the least alien-looking. Probably b/c he was born with a full head of hair!

  2. Haha...
    I love that you relate! And pretty impressive that you could see the alien-esque nature of your own children.

    You get kudos from me:)