I had full intentions of posting yesterday for Manna Monday (and actually, since I am posting this at 1230 am, it is technically Wednesday).
Yep, I am awesome.
I did not get to post for Manna Monday because my computer broke!
Really, it was all types of lovely and wonderful and I was pretty excited about the whole situation (read: I almost ripped my hair out and poked my eyeballs with a fork).
So now you get a Manna Monday post on a Wednesday.
So here is what I really feel like I have been ruminating over recently:
Basically, I have been convicted lately of my covert sins.
It is so easy for me to not commit the ‘big sins’ (quotations because I don’t think any sin is a ‘big sin’ Sin is sin. Plain and simple. But it was easier to write it this way so you know what I was talking about).
I don’t want to murder.
I don’t want to commit adultery.
I don’t want to steal.
I don’t want to construct an idol.
I don’t want to worship any other God but the one true Living God.
Etc., etc. etc.
But what I have really been realizing recently is that often, I compromise.
Often, satan (being his buttface self [Yep, I sure did call satan a buttface. You’re welcome]) will tempt me in areas that I can see myself going in.
He knows he can’t get me to flat out commit certain sins, but he likes to see how far he can push me.
And little by little, I start to give in.
I tell myself that it is ‘ok’ and that ‘whatever, its not even a big deal.’
But one slip leads to the next.
And soon, even though I’m not committing the ‘murder’, I have hate in my heart and am holding a grudge.
And soon, even though I’m not constructing an actual stone ‘idol’, I am idolizing a certain lifestyle.
And soon, even though I only want to worship God, I start to ‘worship’ other things by devoting all my time, energy, and thoughts toward them.
A recent verse I read helped drive home the point for me.
James 4:17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Often, I know I shouldn’t be having the hate in my heart, or feeling jealousy over what I don’t have, or putting all my time and energy into things that are only temporary anyway.
Yet I do them.
And in that?
And what’s worse is that I pretend like I’m not sinning all along.
I pretend I’m doing great and things are wonderful.
When they are not.
Another verse I was reminded of:
Matthew 5:23-24 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
I think I try to come to God with my prayers, my ‘gift’ of worship, and I feel like I hit a wall.
I cant figure out why I don’t feel connected to him until I realize its that ‘concealed sin’ that is standing in the way.
And often it’s because I have sinned against someone or hold something in my heart against someone.
The Bible tells us to first, before we try to offer anything up to God, that we need to make amends with those in our lives who we have hurt.
And this is not the only case (the case of holding something against someone or someone holding something against you) where a change needs to happen before I can try to approach the Holy throne.
The Bible also says that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive.
Often, if I have been building idols in my heart, or allowing jealousy to fester, I need to first confess it to Him.
Pretending like I haven’t been sinning doesn’t get me anywhere.
It simply makes me feel disconnected.
But if I am just honest enough with God to admit my covert sins, then He will be faithful enough to forgive me.
So I encourage you, as I encourage myself to really seek out those ways that we’ve compromised.
We all have areas in our life that if we aren’t careful, we can become complacent over.
We can keep living as if we are wonderful people, knowing all along that beneath the surface, there is a disease festering.
And without tending to, the disease will only spread and continue to get worse.
And untreated disease within a body begins to consume it.
We need the Holy blood of Christ to cover our sins when we have made mistakes.
Only His blood carries the healing that we need when we are broken.
**Looking for other Manna Monday posts? Click on the Manna Monday link at the bottom.**