Breastfeeding and Such

Do you all remember me talking about J, the kid I babysit? If not, you can read about it here.

So last night I am sitting with him eating dinner. Annnd, as most of our conversations go, they are normally random and filled with funny times.

Here is a great example:

J: “Man! My teeth are like knives! Look at them cut through this noodle! Watch! BAM! Did you see me cut through that? Just like a knife.”

Yes, J. That is so true.

“Ok, well are your teeth like knives?”

Yes, they are.

“Well are all people’s teeth like knives?”

Well, our teeth were made to be able to chew things so that food is more easily digested, so yes, all people’s teeth are like knives.

“Oh.” (Thinking.) “Well, babies don’t have teeth.”

Yes, that’s because they don’t need them. They just need to be able to drink milk from their moms.

“What do you mean?”

I mean they don’t have to chew because they just have to be able to drink milk from their moms.

“Like, the baby drinks milk from the mom’s tummy?”

(Me thinking: oh, Lord. He doesn’t know about breastfeeding. How am I going to
explain this to a 9 year old who is not my own???)

Umm…Not exactly. The baby drinks from the mom’s chest.

“Like up here?” (Pointing to his neck.)

No…a little lower.

“Oh, so right here?” (Pointing to the correct region)

Yes.

“So, does the mom have tons of holes all over her so that the baby can just lay there and drink while it pours out?”

(Me: Cracking UP!...Meanwhile thinking: “I do NOT want to talk to him about women's nipples. Are his parents comfortable with this conversation? Oh crap, I’m stuck…”

No….Just two holes, really.

“Oh.”

He finally drops the conversation after I explain that when a baby eats from his mom, it is called breastfeeding.

However, then the next conversation starts. Here we go again.

“So, Miss Elizabeth, are you having a baby?” (I have no idea why this kid is obsessed with me having a baby?!)

Not right now, J.

“Well how many kids are you going to have?”

I’m not sure. But I do know that when Brandon and I have kids, we want to at least adopt one too.

“Really? Like, from Haiti?”

Maybe from Haiti. Maybe from the United States. Maybe from anywhere in the world. Brandon and I haven’t really thought much about where we will adopt from.

“Well, when you adopt, I think you should adopt me.”

(I am thinking: “ok what??? This kid has a great life with parents he loves deeply. What is going on? I soon get my answer….”)

J, you don’t really want to be adopted by me, do you?

“Well, let’s discuss about the pros and cons.”

(I am thinking: What the heck, kid? Who, at 9 years of age, discusses pros and cons of something???)

(Laughing) Ok, J. Let’s talk about the pros and cons.

“Ok, Pro: I would get to hang out with your dogs all the time.

Ok. Good…What else?

Con: I would have to move away from all my friends.

Another Con: I would have to change schools.

Pro: ummm….Pro:…. Ok, another Con: I would have to move away from my parents

Con: I would be sad.

So basically what you’re saying is, you don’t really want to be adopted by me at all, you just want to hang out with my dogs.

Yep. I think that’s it.

Haha, Ok J, whatever you say kid.

And this is the greatness called: Babysitting a curious 9 year old little boy.