Discounts are the Best!

I LOVE free stuff.

Seriously.

I might have an obsession.

I don’t even know where this obsession to collect free things began. Because people? I am NOT a stuff collector. In fact, I throw away things too often sometimes and then regret it when I realize I needed that later. But I just hate clutter, so it all goes in the trash.

So obviously my hyper-garbage-throwing-away personality contradicts my desire for free things.

Am I surprised? No. Often, I am a walking contradiction.

Anyway.

Back to my discussion of free things.

I am so obsessed that I will take almost anything that someone gives me.

For example, just the other day I was on my way to work. When I went through security, the security guard noticed the cup that I was carrying my milk in. It said “Free Masons.”

He gave me the strangest look, and then was like: “Free Masons? Where did you get that cup?”

I simply responded: “OH! I was at a fair and they had a booth and they were handing out free cups! I love free things!”

His voice then relaxed and I went inside while thinking to myself: “Now that was odd.”

So I get home, and put my cup in the sink from the day. I then ask Brandon: “Do you know what the Free Masons are?”

Do you know his response?

He said they’re a fraternity that operates semi cult-like.

G.R.E.A.T.

So I’ve been out advertising a cult with my free cup.

Do you think this would make me throw the cup away? Nope. I still have it. I just don’t take it out in public anymore. After all, it was FREE. Duh.

Among other free crap that I get excited about? Anything.

About a month ago the “Teacher Store” as we call it, or more appropriately named United Art and Education ,was giving away scratch off tickets to that you could get discounts at the store.

Not only did I wake up Brandon at the butt crack of dawn, but drove there while speeding just so we could get there in time (remember that I am not the teacher. He is. But look who was excited about the sale….exactly.)

Once we got in the parking lot, I saw so many cars. I panicked!

“No! What if they run out of scratch off tickets??”

I squeal into the parking lot and tell Brandon to “MOVE!”

I then proceed to RUN across the parking lot to try to beat the other teachers to the door. Brandon walks leisurely behind me.

I make it to the door and realize that they still had like 100 scratch off tickets left.

What did I win off of my scratch off ticket? A recyclable grocery bag. Brandon? $5 off a purchase.

And do you know what he said to me: “So I bet this was worth all the running across the parking lot, huh?” with a smirk on his face.

Whatever, Brandon.

It was CRUCIAL to get the free things.

And who couldn’t use a good recyclable grocery bag:)…