I am selfish.
I know, I know. I am a CHRISTIAN. How can I be saying I’m selfish? I thought Christians were supposed to be perfect, right?
We are not perfect. Although our goal is to act like Christ did, we are still human, we are flawed and imperfect. The only difference between Christians and non-believers? We have chosen to put our trust and hope in Christ and believe in Him for salvation.
That is it.
Therefore, like I said: I. Am. Selfish.
Terribly so, in fact.
I really feel like I have been made so acutely aware of this lately, especially since my brother-in-law moved in. (Missed the post about that event? Click here. )
So often, I make declarations in my mind about my own rights and my stuff.
I think that my house is mine.
It is not.
I think my money is mine.
It is not.
I think that my time is mine.
It is not.
You see, because I have chosen to live my life for Christ, I recognize that all of my blessings, gifts, talents, and breaths here on this earth all belong to Him.
In fact, if the plan for my life was supposed to end right now, he could take the breath out of my body this very instant. He could make my heart stop beating. And my short life here on earth would end.
And all that time spent thinking about all MY ‘stuff’, MY ‘precious time’, and MY ‘precious belongings’ would fade in a moment of time.
Which really makes me wonder…why in the world am I so concerned with all of it anyway?
Will it really matter in the long run if someone disrespected my time and space? I mean, who really cares. If I am truly to love as Christ loves, then shouldn’t I be willing to give up my rights as he did? After all, he was treated terribly---mocked, scorned, and beaten, yet he gave up his life freely for every single one of us without complaint.
And I look at my own life. I can’t even stand it if someone oversteps their bounds or takes advantage of me.
I know what my purpose here on earth is. I discovered that at a young age. I remember thinking to myself: “I really want to help people who are hurting.” (Thus why I am a social worker!)
However, how much of my life is spent NOT working toward my purpose? How much energy and time is wasted wondering about stupid things like “I wish I could afford designer clothes like _____ over there” or “I wish I could change x, y, and z about my body” or even “I cannot believe ______ did that to me! Clearly they need to know about how they stomped on my toes.”
Which leads me back to my original point. I am selfish.
I spend so much time wondering about meaningless things because they benefit me.
How would my life be different if the majority of my thoughts were focused outward and how I could minister to others?
How much more Christ-like would I be?
Maybe then I could wear the name of Christ proudly instead of so often bringing shame to His name.
But thank God for grace.
Thank God He forgives us when we are wrong.
Thank God that He loves us so much that even when we are selfish and not resembling Jesus, He still loves us.
And thank God that He loves us enough not to let us stay the way we are.