Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Wrath of My Armpit

So you all remember my husband's post about me, right? If not, you can read it here.


I need your help.

That right armpit that is smelly is really taking over my life!

Why am I so suddenly obsessed with my armpits? I will tell you.

Recently, I switched to a natural deodorant aka a deodorant without aluminum in it. My mom has been telling me for years about the dangers of antiperspirants, but I have been ignoring her.

Well, since I recently switched, things have been mostly good.

The deodorant lasts for a few good hours.

But then, the smell starts to creep.

Of course, only from my right armpit, because apparently my left armpit has no scent while my left smells like peaches and sweat. I know, I know a delicious combination.

So what should I do, people?

Apply aluminum armpit-clogging deodorant to the right armpit, and let my left one be free?

See, I have a problem with that because my aunt had to get surgery because of the crazy backed-up state of her armpit after she used aluminum deodorant.

So clearly I don't want to go back to the un-natural deodorant. But am I supposed to walk around with one smelly armpit the rest of my life, while the other is free and breezy?

I need your advice, people!

I don't want to smell like peaches and sweat the rest of my life on my right side.

I guess until I find a solution, I will just hug people on the left side of my body and plaster my right armpit to my side.

So if you see me on the street and my arm looks like it has gone lame? Don't worry! It hasn't! I'm just attempting to hide my creepy smelly armpit from you.


  1. I think I'm peeing my pants laughing right now. And if it makes you feel better, I am SUPER smelly too. It's hotter than stink today and I just mowed the lawn- the sweat is a state of nastiness.

    I've heard about that clogged arm pit thing, but personally? I think a little surgery is worth smelling like peaches.

    Since giving birth to my second, my hormonal balance has become ridiculously out of whack and EVERYTHING makes me sweat. I have to use the clinical strength deodorant, which I am SO happy they came out with since my sweat issues began. It must have a crap load of aluminum in it though, so I hoping to make it until next summer before I have to have my arm pits removed.

    I'm thinking though- life with no arm pits? Probably wouldn't be so bad.

  2. Hahaha just read your husband's post and it totally cracked me up. TOO funny! Your blog is hilarious, I can't wait to read more. I'm headed to work, but looking forward to getting to know you better once I'm home in the morning! :)

  3. @ Polished Portrayal--LOL "I'm thinking though-life with no arm pits? Probably wouldn't be so bad."

    Love it. Except...with no armpits, the sweat still has to come out somewhere. And with my luck? It would probably be like a dripping wet face. That would be hot, right?

    @Rachel---I love new readers! I hope you stay and keep reading. And become a follower! You might get a cookie, afterall:)

  4. I'm sure your hubs wouldn't appreciate this comment, but maybe grow out your pit hairs in your right armpit? This is just a theory, but maybe they'll absorb the odor? Or the extra hair/heat will cause you to be more stinky. Only one way to find out.

    Just make sure you always keep your right arm at your side.

  5. @ gopopgo-

    YES! Brilliant!!!! I am SO growing out my right armpit hairs!

    Brandon? Is going to barf.

    And that right arm is so going to be glued to my side even more...