Sunday, October 3, 2010

I would Like Some Braised Lamb, Please.

There’s not much about the Hollywood life that I ever would desire.

I don’t care about money.

I don’t care about fame.

I don’t want paparazzi following me around.

I don’t want to have to try to hide just to go to the grocery.

I want to be able to walk around in my sweats and no makeup without having the world judge me.

I don’t want to be obsessive about my weight and image.

I don’t need the fancy houses.

I don’t need the fancy cars.

I don’t want the world trying to dig up all my business.

I don’t want special treatment.

But I will say this…

IF I were famous, there are a few luxuries I REALLY would like.

For example, if I were ever famous, the first item on my list of things to get?

A freaking personal chef.

Can you imagine how glorious that would be??

Someone to cook gourmet meals for you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


I was just reading on the other day about how Martha Stewart tweeted about how her chef had made braised lamb with roasted vegetables for dinner that evening and how delicious it was.

Where the freak are my braised lamb and roasted vegetables???

I tell you what, people.

I could get used to that.

However, of course, the other thing I would want if I was famous?

A personal trainer.

Not only to work off all the food that my gourmet chef was cooking me (I don’t want to be obese, after all!), but also because they could come drag me out of bed at 6 am to work out.

Because people?

I am never going to drag MYSELF out of bed at 6 am.

Yea right.

Buttttt, if I was paying someone to do it?

Then obviously I would get up because they were at my house in my face yelling at me to get my lazy butt out of bed to work out.

Ahhhh…the life.

But I guess considering the fact that I have negative amounts of desire to be famous?

I will somehow have to come up with my own gourmet meals.

And motivate my own butt to get out of bed at 6am to work out.

Since clearly I am never going to be able to afford to pay these people to perform these amazing services for me.